Way Back Wednesday - Grads of the Past

Way Back Wednesday people...time to play that game where The Kept Woman asks us to post embarrassing pictures of ourselves online for all the world to see.

This weeks theme is:
Graduation Day! All the partying! All the boy/girl watching! Oh, and some of that 'studying' too! It's all paid off for graduation day! Let's see you proud grads of the past...

This beauty goes back 16 years. Holy. Mutha. How is possible that I came to be this old? Anyway. Since I never graduated college (because I could never decide what I wanted to be when I grew up), we've traveled all the way back to High School Graduation.



That's me. The blondie on the left. One the right, was my best friend R, whom I still love with all of my heart. :) We don't see each other often anymore, and sometimes go for years without talking, BUT each time we do talk, it's as if no time has past, and we are still those same two girls in the picture. We KNOW each other, you know?

I think I'll call her tomorrow. I miss her.

Hello? 911 emergency, how can I help you?

"uhhh...yeah, hi. I just got stabbed. I think I might need some help."

Clue #1 - The Weapon



Clue #2 - The Crime Scene



Clue #3 - The Victim



Rewind to last week. What happened last week you say? Last week I bought myself some new kick ass Cuisinart knives that I had been needing for, oh, about 7 years. Just one of those things I never thought of getting while I was out. But last week I saw them and knew I had to have them. I took them out of the box and washed them immediately when I got home, then grabbed a juicy tomato to try them out....smmmmoooooth...like butter. I tell you, NOTHING cuts better than these knives.

Fast forward to this evening approximately 5pm. There I am. Standing at the island, pork loin almost ready to go in the oven, just waiting for some fresh apples. I start to cut the apples. Slice, slice, slice, slice, slice....done. Next apple...reach...bump...oops...the knife! Falling, falling, falling...and it lands. Right. In. My. Fucking. Foot. Then bounces back out. BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. It is literally squirting out of the top of my foot.

My first thought? Oh, SHIT! Second thought. Why can't I stop this bleeding? My third thought. Oh this is fucking great. Here I am worried I'll die a plane crash or of cancer, and this is how I'm gonna fucking go! By stabbing myself in the fucking foot!My fourth thought. OOOH, something to blog about.

What do I do? Call Jack's Daddy? No, he's an hour away, what the hell can he do? Okay. Get my neighbors to help me. Ummmm. Well I can't take my hand off my foot, because it's the only thing stopping my blood from squirting across the room. And because I can't take my hand off my foot... I can't walk...and it's too far to scoot on my bum. Hmmm...okay. This is a lot of blood. I think I may need to go to the Emergency Room. How do I get Jack in the car? How do I drive? That damn hand holding my foot thing again. Okay, I know! and I grab my cell and call 911.

Yup. Sure did. My first time ever. I'm no longer a virgin. My 911 cherry was popped tonight ladies and gentlemen and all in all it was a rather pleasant experience. Well, all except for the blood and the pain. Everyone was very nice and seemed to be laughing with me, rather than at me. At the ER the doctor called my unlucky rather than a stupid fuck. I appreciated that. I really did. Once all was said and done, they cleaned my wound, closed my wound, bandaged my wound, gave me a shot and sent me on my merry way. The end.

In hindsight, the 911 call may have been a little overkill, but hey, it's not everyday I see blood squirting out of my foot. Plus I had an almost two year old to consider, should I, I don't know, pass out or something. (Who, btw, did not see any of squirting business as I was on the other side of the island, and who had a really fun time chatting with the EMT's and Police Officer who came to the house. (All of whom were very hot, I might add) Can I do quotes inside quotes??)

Anyway, lots of fun and excitement as usual. I've said it before. I like to live on the edge.

Holiday pictures coming soon...

Half - Nekkid Thursday - #20

What is Half-Nekkid Thursday?? Click the link above and visit Osbasso to find out.

#20 in my half-nekkid journey....Beach Bound...



Don't you just love my brand new f-ing HUGE sunglasses? They make me feel like such a rock star...

...which reminds me. I love teaching my son new things...important things...valuable things. I now say to him..."who ya gonna party like??" and he says..."A WOK TAR"...yeah, that's what I'm talkin' a bout.

Did ya get nekkid?

Way Back Wednesday - History week

After two weeks off and some serious withdrawals it's time again, for Way Back Wednesday, the game where The Kept Woman asks us to post embarrassing pictures of ourselves online for all the world to see. This weeks theme is:

It's history! Looking for shots of you at a historical site or monument...bonus points for anyone in a red, white and blue one-piece terry sunsuit with a bowl cut...

Okay. Here we go...



A historical site shot...taken in front of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Lots of history. I, of course, don't know any of it, because I hated history. But it is in a foreign country and all so...may I be exused? The style and fashion (though difficult to see, I'm sure) is certainly historic. We have some baggy/tapered pants...rolled up to just under the knee. Rolled up pants was in style once...I swear...everyone was doing it. I'm also wearing knee highs so the very bottom of my legs would look super tan (while my face and arms remained nice and pasty). Hmmm..what else? Pointy flat shoes and my siginature jean jacket. And the hair?? OMFG... Needless to say I'm thankful this shot wasn't a close up.

Look at what's happened to me...

I can't believe it myself. Suddenly, I'm up on top of the world. I should have been somebody else. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free..ee..ee. Flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be? Believe it or not, it's just me.

Would I be the biggest dork on the planet if I admitted to singing this...uh... Greatest American Hero theme song at the top of my lungs, each time I heard it on the radio? Then, so be it. I'm pretty sure I'd still watch the actual show too, if it was still on. Is it still on?? I just loved that curly haired blonde bastard.

Thanks to my new favorite radio station 93.7 MIC FM, I get to listen to this kind of shit all the time. Along with some Nirvana, Elton John, Eminem, and Early Madonna. See, when it comes to music I LOVE it all. (Or at least almost all. My only requirement is there must be lyrics. I'm so not into classical or any instrumental shit...sorry...stuff. ) This station plays it ALL. Thousands of songs. Completely random. So I can wash down a little Nickelback with some James Taylor and then top off some Don McLean with a little Guns-n-Roses. It's fucking beautiful.
It really is.

That is all. Back to my music...

oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mickey...Hey Mickey...

Is recess over??

Damn...I didn't even hear the bell. I'm back. Sort of. I took an extra long break from blogger land to try to catch up on some real life. I did that, and now I'm back for the time being. I can't promise that I won't disappear again, however, because, well...I like livin' on the edge. Here's what's new in my world.

1. I'm still not making any money. Well, I'm making some but not much. Luckily Jack's Daddy just got a raise, which takes the pressure off.

2. I'm a non-smoking, haven't had a drink in forever, weight dropping rock star. I'm finding my "miracle pill" has turned me into a stress free (just about) super achiever. (No, I'm not trying to quit drinking...I just haven't felt that "oh my god...give me a fucking drink" urge)

3. It rained for days on end, which totally sucked, But, our grass is now full and green and the sun is shining...which totally doesn't suck.

4. My mother came to visit. She left. She's coming back again. This here, is where the "just about" part of stress-free comes in. I've yet to find any miracle pill that can help me deal with a visit from mother. Need I say more? Probably, but I don't feel like it.

5. Major life decision is on the table. To birth or not to birth... another child. Am I crazy?? Well...yes, actually I am, but that really is beside the point. For the past two years I've said no friggen' way. Now that Jack is almost two and I'm chemically balanced I'm thinking...eh..why not?? Feel free to offer advice. I usually don't listen to it, but this time I will.

6. I'm painting again. Or, I should say, I painted Saturday night. Huge accomplishment, considering I've been dry for months.

7. All and all things are going well. I'm happy, healthy, and horny. What more could a girl ask for?

How's that for excitement? What? You're not excited? You know your life it just as boring as mine. If it wasn't you wouldn't be here.

I'm going to do my best to participate in WBW and HNT this week. Promise.

A memory...

I took this photo yesterday driving home from the park. It's Sampson's Pond. It reminded me of another pond from a lifetime ago. Back when I was someone quite different than the someone I am today.

We used to walk along the path,
down...by Jonesie's Pond

We learned to love and learned to laugh
down...by Jonesie's Pond

We fell in love and fell apart
down...by Jonesie's Pond

You gave me life, then broke my heart
down...by Jonesie's Pond

****************************************

Happy Friday ya'll.

Half-Nekkid Thursday - #19

What is Half-Nekkid Thursday?? Click the link above and visit Osbasso to find out.

After a few too many days of clouds, rain and darkness, we've finally nabbed ourselves a beautiful day! It was an early morning, courtesy of Jack, so we headed out to the park after breakfast. It was a little wet, and we got a little dirty, but who cares. It's a beautiful day! This shot was taken on our way home...

#19 in my half-nekkid journey....beautiful day...



Let me know if you got nekkid so I can come and see!

Way Back Wednesday - Teeny Weeny Striped Bikini

Time for Way Back Wednesday, the game where The Kept Woman asks us to post embarrassing pictures of ourselves online for all the world to see. This weeks theme is:

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dotted Bikinis of the past! In celebration of my upcoming trip to Mexico lets see all those hot bathing suits of the past! No fair putting up a current shot of you looking hot..or airbrushing...that is also strictly against the rules...

Okay, well, first of all...there is no chance of me putting up a current bikini shot and looking hot. Not happening. I'm pretty certain my bikini days are over. I'm Okay with that, really. Second, I don't really need to photoshop the old photos because the quality was so shitty you can't see all the flaws and blemishes, anyway.

And here we have it. Wasn't the teeniest and it wasn't polka dots but it will have to do. This was taken roughly 10 years ago on a trip to Vegas (before I had moved there). That's my sexy pool walk right there, along with my sexy squint. My half-hearted attempt of trying to keep the desert sun from scorching my cornias. My favortie part about this picture?? The stretch-mark free belly. Ahhh...those were the days.



Did you play?