Merry Christmas!!!!

There. I fucking said it. I know it's all taboo in this day and age, but...you know...I like to shake things up. Now that I've done that...I'll go back to being the diplomat, that I get so tired of hearing I am, and I'll also say...

Happy Hanukkah!
Happy Quanza!
Feliz Navidad!
Happy Winter Solstice!
Happy HOLIDAYS!
Happy Fucking Winter!
Happy Birthday!

Did I forget anything?? Probably. If I left whatever it is you celebrate out, feel free to fill in the blank here...Happy _________. If you run out of room you can use the back of the sheet. If by chance you don't celebrate anything at all, please don't let the above happy wishes offend you...and just go have yourself a nice day.

Why am I such a wise ass?? Who knows. Seriously, though, I wish you all the best! I'm not sure if I'll be back before New Year, so I'm getting all my well wishing out of the way now.

Just a couple of things before I go. To answer TKW's question yesterday...NO announcement to be made. The rabbit is not dead. I swear.

And to anonymous...thanks so much for your concern. Really. I do feel strongly about a lot of subjects and I rather enjoy getting all wound up...or was that tied up??...I forget. Anyway, my point was..or is...that this here is the one place I don't have to take it easy. The one place I'm allowed to get all wound up and dump my wrath. If there's anyone who doesn't enjoy sharing in my rants and fits of insanity...well...you know the way out. That being said...don't forget to pick your happy or merry from the list above before you leave.

Okay. I'm done.

Half - Nekkid Thursday #35

Wanna know why everyone's gettin' nekkid?? Click the link above and visit Osbasso to find out.

I've been neglecting my blog again lately, mostly because I have nothing to say. (there...I said it) But...it's Thursday and I'd hate to disappoint on the only day all you pervs tune in.

If there's a theme, again, I'm not doing it. I'm a rebel. I march to the beat of a different drum. I'm a rule breaker! Okay...maybe I'm just lazy.

...number thirty five in my half-nekkid journey...hidden.



Those of you who are just here for the skin may now be excused. For the rest of you...feel free to read on. Hello? Ah..well.

I feel like rambling. So here I go. Christmas is less than a week away. Gifts are bought and wrapped and cleverly hidden. I've lost a little of my spirit during the whole process. I was planning on making cookies and giving them to my neighbors. I used to, many years ago. Not here. The other places I've lived. Then I started thinking...shit...if I do it this year, I'll have to do it next year too...and the year after that...and holy shit...I've just condemned myself to a lifetime of giving Christmas cookies to these people I hardly know and rarely even talk to. That's just too much fucking pressure. I can't commit myself to that kind of crap. God! I've got enough shit to do. (are you feeling the Christmas spirit yet?) Anyway...the truth is I may not even be here next year, never mind for the rest of my life, BUT...just in case, I decided the nix the cookie idea. Unless, of course, they bring something over first and then I'm obligated to whip up a last minute batch and pretend like I'd intended to give them all along. Which...I kind of did...until now.

I just feel lazy. Uninspired. Bored. Tired. A bit nauseous. My only goal right now is to give my little man the best Christmas possible. Every thing else is kind of getting pushed aside to be dealt with...at a later date.

I renewed my drivers license. The picture looks retarded. It's better than my old one, which made me look like 15 years older than I am, but it's still retarded. I'm retarded.

I've been having heartburn lately. I've got to quit the chocolate.

Half-Nekkid Thursday #34

Wanna know why everyone's gettin' nekkid?? Click the link above and visit Osbasso to find out.

First and foremost, I'd like to give a shout out to a special birthday boy. I remember back when you were the only one old enough to rent the motel room. Now you're...well...shit, almost twice that age. :)

Moving on. There was a theme today. A Christmas tree theme and I would have done it. Really. If only I had time. So instead I have my own theme today. Sort of.

...number thirty four in my half-nekkid journey is ...behind.

a little behind??


a lot behind.


I know they're blurry. Sue me. I'm really behind.

Did you play? I can't promise I'll visit today, but I'm sure to stop by at some point.

Half Nekkid Thursday - #33

Wanna know why everyone's gettin' nekkid?? Click the link above and visit Osbasso to find out.

Time to show some skin, which btw, I seem have more and more of, the older I get. Somehow that doesn't seem right. Anyway, no screwing around today. I simply don't have the time... with presents to wrap, packages to send, cookies to bake, and beer to drink...not necessarily in that order. Without further adieu...

...number thirty three in my half-nekkid journey I'll simply call ...bite me.



Did you get nekkid?

Way Back Wednesday - Christmas Rejects

It's hump day and the day we play that game where The Kept Woman asks us to post embarrassing pictures of ourselves online for all the world to see.

This weeks theme is: REject Christmas Card Attempts- My dad felt the need to keep the 28 photos it took to get The One that we would use...let's see all those less than desireable family shots.

I'm a little late today. I was having issues. I'm better now, I think. I'm kind of cheating a little on this weeks theme, because the "Christmas card pictures" didn't start in my family until I was out and on my own. My mother never had a thing for taking pictures, or even looking at them. She does, however, enjoy holding them hostage...but that's a whole other post, isn't it. Moving forward... So, I chose the picture that I would reject, had it been up for nomination. WARNING: This is not pretty, and the fact that I'm even posting it here just proves that I don't have an ounce of self respect left in my worn out, aging body. Eh...whatever.



Told you. Not a pretty sight. I'm not talking about the famous FAKE Christmas background, complete with fireplace and tree, or the Christina Crawford hair and dress. I'm talking about the teeth! A smile only a mother could love...or not. What amazes me more than anything, though, is that I never did have braces. They just all kind of fell down into place, not perfectly mind you, but damn if you could tell I ever had a mouth like this.

Did you play??

A fly on the wall #1

If you were a fly on the wall...this it what you would have heard recently in my house.

Me: Okay it's almost time for bed...let's clean up your toys.

Jack: No bed...puzzle...mommy? puzzle?

Me: We can put your puzzle together before we put it away.

Jack: yeah...okay. (yeah is always followed by okay)

and we proceed to put the puzzle together...a barney puzzle btw

Jack: bj feet...bj feet!!

Me: where do you think bj's feet go??

Jack: right dere

Me: i don't think so...i think that's were bj's head goes...how about we try bj's feet here...

Jack: yeah...okay.

Me: look!! we did it!!

Jack: good boy, mommy!!

:)

Stuff Portrait Friday -Some Things...

TGIF, bitches! Time to play SPF with Kristine over at Random and Odd. Today's theme:

1. Something that makes you go “hmmmm.”
2. Something Sweet
3. Something Retro

Okay, before we begin, I have to admit I started out confused by number one. Apparently I don't know the difference between mmmmm and hmmmm. Well, at least not at first glance. Luckily, my last few brain cells kicked in so...

Here we go..

1. Something that makes me go "hmmmm,"



A photo of a photo obviously. Not sure if I'm breaking any rules or not because I don't read the rules. Anyway. I was flipping through people magazine the other day, while Jack was using me as his own personal sofa, and we came across this pic of my other fantasy love Chris. I go to turn the page and Jack stops me..."what daddy doing?" he says, as he points to the picture. Daddy?? Now I've been crushin' on Mr. Daughtry since the first episode of last seasons AI...and never once did I think to myself...hmmm....he looks like my husband. HMMMM.

2. Something Sweet



(my attempt to stay away from FOOD altogether.) I'll admit he isn't ALWAYS sweet, but knock on wood...we've have 4 sweet days in a row. Someone's loving me.

3. Something Retro



Not the shirt per se...the Love Machine. I want one. There is nothing cooler than a pimped out VW Bus. Throw in some Shaggy and I'm there.

Have a lovely weekend!

Did you play?